Online Safety Topics: talking to your kids about relationships.
ONLINE SAFETY TOPICS
Cultivating relational safety with your kids creates a grounding in them that will guide their decision-making in the future.
Creating an atmosphere of emotional safety and relational wholeness is the most effective way to protect your family from vulnerability.
The strategy
of predators is to make their victims
feel isolated and ashamed, so they
will be less likely to make an outcry.
Social media is quickly becoming the primary driver of relationships for youth. Whether it's connecting with strangers or maintaining pre-existing relationships, these virtual platforms are shaping how kids communicate and what kind of information is shared. It’s important to talk with your kids about who they are talking to, what they are talking about, and how they can practice safe online interactions.
A common strategy of predators is to make their victims feel isolated and ashamed so they will be less likely to make an outcry. The more your kids feel safe and comfortable talking with you about what they’re experiencing, online and in person, the more likely they can disclose possible exploitation. Check in with them often (bedtime is a great time), as that creates more opportunities for them to tell you if something is wrong. Make plenty of time to spend with them truly getting to know them.
As information sharing becomes more normalized in the digital age, it's important to talk with your kids about what is appropriate to share and what is not.
Coach your kids to know what is and isn’t okay
Teaching your kids boundaries is critical to keep them safe. Remember that it’s not just social media apps you need to be aware of. Many video games now have message boards, group chats, or video messaging features allowing strangers to communicate. False personas and profiles can be created and utilized by predators to begin conversations with younger, unsuspecting kids. Use these guidelines and watch for red flags in the conversations your kids may have online:
Asking or giving personal information like full names, addresses, or birthdays
Online offers of money or gift cards in exchange for photos or offers to help make quick money
People online who want to meet in person and will not take no for an answer
Hurtful, shameful, or secretive conversations happening online
Asking or giving ages
Asking if they are alone or about their parent’s work schedules
Asking for pictures or videos
Quickly offering them a relationship or to help meet a need (creating opportunities to build trust by providing emotional support)
Having proactive conversations can be the best way to help your kids build healthy relationships online.
Here are a couple of conversation starters to guide you. Remember to be yourself and do what you can to foster a natural, heartfelt conversation.
I know we haven’t really talked about social media much before, but I’d love to learn what apps are all the rage. What are your favorites? Can you teach me how they work?
I know social media is a really important way for you to connect with your friends, and that’s great. I also know people you’ve never met before can send you a friend request or a message. Does anyone ever message you whom you’ve never met in real life? If so, what do you do? How do you decide whether or not to message them back?
Have you ever seen something online that made you uncomfortable or curious?
What’s your favorite part about social media? What do you not like about it?
Who are your favorite people to chat with/game with?
What does online safety mean to you? Can we talk about what privacy settings you use?